The moment you take off your gloves, you get splinters.
Ladders help a lot
If there is no breeze, it's going to be a hot work day
Water + wood makes a smelly humid house
Ask if you don't know, 'cuz you don't want to do it over again
2 story houses are good, unless your going up and down them repeatedly.
Large lunches are awesome
Don't sweat the small stuff 'cuz your gonna sweat all day
Sandy soil is awful to dig into
You will be sore
Under the sink outlets are of the devil
No one will notice if your light isn't actually in the middle of the room
Always have something to write with
If your hands don't have an owie.... your not working hard enough
Always make sure your circuit is OFF
Who needs a 3rd hand, you got a mouth
You cant do construction and not get dirty
Use your cell phone calculator if you cant do math in your head
Shower so the rest of society can deal with you
Don't force it, use a longer screw
Cold water has never tasted so good
Watch your head
Hammers are dangerous and malevolent
As you can prob figure out each of these has a story behind it and if you are interested I can share the stories.... but I think your imagination makes them much more funny.
Heres some pictures for your enjoyment


The undersink plug of doom..... and The kitchen of my first house
sorry i dont have more but I dont really have time to take pictures while working.